How can I lower my stress level as I deal with caregiving duties?

Allison Applebaum, clinical psychologist and director of the Steven S. Elbaum Family Center for Caregiving at Mount Sinai in New York City

Caregiver stress can be profound. Caregivers take responsibility for so many facets of patient care. They help with basic tasks, coordinate transportation, manage finances, navigate health insurance and provide emotional support. Balancing these new responsibilities with work, child care or other duties often creates a perfect storm of distress and burden.

To alleviate stress, caregivers should take time to focus on themselves, but they must have realistic expectations. Regularly taking a vacation or going to the spa is not practical, and overly ambitious goals like going to the gym five days a week could leave a caregiver feeling even more demoralized or stressed.

To begin, start small. Caregivers should think of small ways they can mitigate feelings of distress that won’t add another responsibility to their plate. For example, at the beginning or end of each day, you might take five to 15 minutes to practice a mindfulness strategy, such as deep, diaphragmatic breathing. Schedule a workout at least once a week, and block off the time as you would for a doctor’s appointment. Simple things like walking around the block, sitting down to drink a cup of tea or spending an extra five minutes in a hot shower can also help. At least once a day, share your worries with a friend or your therapist, or write them down in a journal. Putting those worries into words can often diffuse their intensity.

In addition to these stress-management techniques, caregivers should ask for help and delegate responsibilities as much as possible. Make a list of all your caregiving responsibilities, and identify tasks you can delegate.

Finally, one of the most powerful strategies for caregivers is saying no. Caregivers have a limited supply of energy, and learning when and how to say no can be a powerful way to conserve your physical and emotional resources. Recognize that taking time for yourself is essential to your health, well-being and your ability to care for your loved one.

CAREGIVER STRESS // The Caregiver Action Network shares resources for caregivers, including peer-to-peer support and legal and financial tools. // Mass General Brigham offers tips for dealing with caregiver anxiety.

The expert’s response was edited for clarity and based on an interview with Kendall K. Morgan.