Shontia Gamble, social worker at Cleveland Clinic Cancer Institute

I recently started dating someone. How should I disclose that I’ve been diagnosed with cancer?

Many people worry about when and how to share a cancer diagnosis with a new dating partner. Sharing personal history and health information with someone new is deeply personal. There’s no specific timeline to follow, so wait to disclose your diagnosis until you feel comfortable. If the relationship is progressing and the two of you have built trust, it may be the right time to share.

When you’re ready to have the conversation, choose a quiet time and place. Remember that what or how much to share depends on your own preferences and the connection you have with this individual. Keep in mind that you don’t have to share the whole story all at once. Start with the basic information, such as your diagnosis, treatment and how cancer affects your day-to-day life. By keeping the conversation high level, you can let the discussion evolve naturally over time. You should expect to have a series of conversations, not just one, particularly if this is someone with whom you hope to continue building a relationship. It may be helpful to write down what you wish to say and then role-play in advance with your therapist, a social worker or a close friend.

Be clear and gentle with the information you give your partner. Be aware that hearing this news might be overwhelming and that your partner may not immediately know how to respond. They may need time to process the information you’ve shared, so give them grace if you don’t get the reaction you desire in that moment. Even the most caring individuals may respond to a partner’s cancer diagnosis with uncertainty, fear or silence.

Through these conversations, you’ll learn a lot about your partner’s ability to process and respond to difficult news with empathy, care and concern. You may discover whether they are someone you want in your life going forward. You should be with someone who makes you feel heard and supported through the many highs and lows that come with a cancer diagnosis.

DATING AFTER CANCER // MD Anderson Cancer Center offers advice on sexual intimacy for people diagnosed with cancer. // The American Cancer Society explores when to start dating after a cancer diagnosis.

The expert’s response was edited for clarity and based on an interview with Kendall K. Morgan.